Politeness can be Aggressive
Parents in general will teach their children to be polite. However, as we get older we can rebel by being overly polite. This probably happens in pre-adoloscence to early adolescence, possibly in reaction to sibling rivalry, especially if there is a younger sibling.
We all have a desire to be dominant, and one way of feeling dominant is to have the last word in any interaction, especially confrontations. I think overpoliteness can become somewhat aggressive when the individual is angry, but is counter to being viewed as aggressive and/or dominant. A common example is the need to say “you are welcome” to every “thank you” in order to get the last word.
I would assume this occurs more in women than men, since women are not supposed to be angry, and are much less often obsessive compulsive. Aggression and dominance are more accepted in males, and probably leads to less discomfort in the pecking order even if one is not the alpha male, as long as one has an important niche or role in the male subgrouping.
Whether it is true or not, people talk about how strictly female analytic meetings tend to dissolve into hostility, which cannot be favorably resolved. I would point to wolf packs, which are considered to be male-dominated and where there are at least 3 or 4 roles of importance. Of course, the “alpha” wolf, who is the leader that specializes in hunting and making the big decisions (like keeping order by keeping everybody in their place). There is a “beta” wolf, who tries to take over the alpha position, who is the loyal opposition and could take over that role if something happens to the alpha wolf. But meantime, the beta is there to mentor the ordinary (or “gamma” wolves). It is a niche although the lowest of the lowest of the totem pole to be the “omega” wolf, whose role is that everybody gets to dominate, and produces feelings of superiority and comradery among the pack. Females also have a power hierarchy, where the “alpha” does not allow any female below her to bear offspring. Most females are however an important part of the hunting pack.
For humans there are analogous roles. The leaders, both political and business-oriented, are similar to “alpha” wolves. “Beta” wolves are more represented by teachers and small businessmen. “Gamma” wolves being the general masses. Lastly, the role of the “omega” lands on inmates in prison or jail. It was a surprise to me that everyone working at the jail seemed quite happy, although other people would say they were no different from the prisoners in that they had to be in jail all day, except they got to go home at night. If we put it in Plato’s Republic’s terms, “alpha” males would be the golden caste of philosopher kings, “beta” males would be the silver caste and would be in the military and small businesses, and the “gamma” and “omega” roles were combined into the bronze caste of males, who represent the rest of the populace.
In eastern cultures, often being more masculine-dominated, there is a greater distance between male and female in power. Although in some middle-eastern culture several generations of family members live together in one household, much more like more pre-historic tribes. In ancient Greek times, females on the island Lesbos were dominant but took over the masculine roles of being the warriors, protectors of their terriroty.
In current times I do not know for sure, but it seems we are developing an increased unisex traditions. Some women join the army, some men take over the home duties, and some share equally. I think this is evolutionary progress; however, it might decrease the expertise of both sexes in their most important roles.
